It's what's inside that counts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I just got 2 JJ Heller CD's today. I was very excited to listen to my new CD's on the way home from church. Little did I know that my listening pleasure would be postponed. For some reason CD makers feel the need to conceal their songs in Kryptonite. Hey, I'm just opening a CD, to hear a little music, not unlocking nuclear launch codes at NORAD. The effort and determination needed to open one of these miniature Fort Knox's is great. So, to help everyone out I'm going to tell you what seems to work best for opening CD's while driving home from church. First, you'll need to hold the CD so you have access to the thin side. Then you forcefully rake your bottom eye tooth (I like to use the left 1) across the plastic wrap several times to rip open the first impenetrable barrier to listening enjoyment. 2nd you must peel off the tape stickers on each side, which seems easy enough,but the amount of brute force needed is absurd, and calculated in my car to be at just over 317lbs of pressure per sq inch; which I just found out, interestingly enough, is also the exact amount of pressure it takes to rip your thumb nail off. This quality tape breaks and shreds off into small enough pieces that can only be measured by an electron microscope. Which means you'll have to dig your nailess thumb 82 times over this area. So in review, as I pull into my driveway the only "music" I heard on the way home was.....the raking of my teeth on a CD case, and the girlish like shrills of me loosing my thumbnail. No wonder I steal most of my songs from Limewire. I hope the CD still plays with this much blood on it.

Heller good.

a breath of fresh air. Went to church this morning, and JJ Heller and her husband were there to lead worship. Wow, this girl can sing, beautiful crystal clear voice and very inspiring lyrics. You need to check her out, I don't mean check her out, I mean her music. Right now she's giving away her new album on her website.

I'm gettn' a new phone

Looks like verizon is coming out with a new Blackberry. I'm getting 1. check it out.

Fruit ready for the Harvest

Me and my family had a really great weekend at the Harvest Crusade this weekend. We had a chance to do some reminiscing with old Friends, and an excellent time of worship and teaching. They are doing God's work at Harvest, that's for sure. 11089 people came forward made decisions this weekend. What a wonderful tribute to Christopher Laurie's life, this crusade was.

The happiest place on earth ?

Mickey mouses strange step cousin.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I hate SPAM

I really hate SPAM, just to get things straight from the start. I'm not talking about that wondrous canned lunch meat that Monte Python sings a song of praise to. It's the junkmail in my inbox. I'm tired of deleting, it wears me out. I get mail from pharmacies.... delete, computer companies........delete, real estate people.....delete, male enhancement......wait a second...... delete, people from Zimbabwe that need $5000 to release millions of dollars, and they are willing to share it with little old me. I've set my spam filter so high that virtually no one I REALLY care about can directly contact me. Yet, Baako Achers can somehow hack though this filter to sell me his/her wears. Ok, I have one more mail issue "mail bombers" is the name that I've given them. They're the people that think everything in their inbox is interesting enough to forward to ME. I really don't want to be the 12th person you've mailed something to so you can have "good luck" today. I don't care about your inspirational PowerPoint slideshows with waterfalls and kittens. I really don't think I'm being too harsh when I say that the penalty for sending SPAM or email bombing should be death.

I need help

They say the first step in recovering from an addiction is, admitting it. OK.... I admit it. My name is Jeff Lascano and I'm a Olympicaholic. There I said it. I'm hooked on the Olympics. Like someone hooked on crack, I need it, I want it, I crave it. Is there a 12 step program I can get into somewhere. I always wondered what kind of freaks would paint their face or body at sporting events. I'm that freak, paint me up and send me to Beijing. I'm not proud, that I stay up until all hours of the night depriving myself of much needed rest, to watch the Springboard and Platform Synchronized Diving competitions, or the Women's 10 meter air pistol, but I will tell you 1 thing, that Wenjun Guo can shoot some air pistol. I'm not glad that I know "the peloton" is the main group of cyclist in a race, or that you receive a .3 deduction for stepping out of bounds in the floor exercise, but I do. It's so fascinating to see the dedication the expertise that these people have in their pursuit of Gold. I love the patriotism I feel when USA wins a medal. Go Michael Phelps, Go USA.

Treated like a King

Today, I went to the dentist. I just love the way they treat me. They didn't even want to burden me with swallowing by myself, so they sucked all my saliva out for me, how sweet. That's an extremely natural feeling. They also were very worried about my pain level, So concerned that they had to give me 3 sets of shots to numb me, thanks so much. They used aroma therapy to comfort me. I think the scent was smouldering teeth, very comforting. They treated me like a king, they gave me a crown and beat me up and charged me, They did treat me like a King....too bad it was Rodney King.

Ode to my friend

I was thinking the other day. Who do I need, who do I depend on for that "pick me up" when I'm down. Who's always there for you, and if he's not there, it's your fault, but he's only a short distance away. There are others that try to compete, try to quench what I thirst for, but it's you and you alone DIET PEPSI that I love.