Jeffapedia

Buyer Beware Nationstar Mortgage, Champion Mortgage

2009-07-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

People who know me, know that I'm not a complainer or whiner by nature, but sometimes you just gotta let it out. Watch out for Nationstar Mortgage
in Lewisville TX. Terrible customer follow though, Terrible customer Satisfaction, and all this cost me $1100 because of their negligence. The did not respond to the BBB. They did not respond to any of my concerns, 0 returned calls 0 follow through. Watch out.

All I want for Christmas

2008-12-19T11:10:00.000-08:00

Flame ( The new Burger King Cologne)
What man doesn't want to smell like a BBQ.

Katinas

2008-12-08T18:41:00.000-08:00

Katinas at monte vista chapel tonight. Good friends and great music.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

People Said to Believe in Aliens and Ghosts More Than God

2008-11-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

What???? Lord, help us to teach our children well. LINK

New digs

2008-11-24T14:17:00.000-08:00

The new sanctuary at Monte Vista looks awesome. A lot of hard work went into it. Its nice to be home.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

It's confirmed It's an ObamaNation

2008-11-04T22:09:00.000-08:00

It was made clear that America needs/wants change, well they got it. I'd really like to know what experience this man has to run the nation. The man is eloquent, I'll give him that, but so were a lot of world leaders through the years that should not have been leaders. I pray that God will bless the new leaders and our country.........Amen

Are you ready for Digital TV??????????????

2008-10-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

Look what I found at Goodwill

2008-10-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

A slightly beat up " The best Of Richard Garcia"

New York Harvest

2008-10-23T19:41:00.000-07:00

View More Pictures Here
Just got back from a wonderful trip to New York. Went there to help with, and attend the Harvest Crusade in Madison Square Garden. Great time with old friends and also a chance to meet some new ones. 13000 people in atendance and over 1380 people made desisions for Christ that night ... To God Be The Glory..

NY

2008-10-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

I somehow was lucky enough to see one of these in NY city. Thought I would share my luck with you.
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Frank caliendo

2008-10-14T21:03:00.001-07:00

My son aaron and I saw Frank at the turlock theater tonight. funny man. Excellent impressions like John Madden, president. Bush and Charles Barkley.
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2 write or not 2. right?

2008-10-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure this blogging stuff is for me. I definitly don't have enough interesting stuff happening to me on a daily basis to let anyone else read about it or even waste the time to write it down. Hey guy's guess what.... I put too much salt on my eggs this morning, WOW.. they were salty, or my shoelace broke for the third time this week, here's a great place to find shoelaces. I bore my self to sleep nightly. There is definitly no reason for me to force feed you a dose of the Jeff Lascano Ambien.

Be a part of it in 'Ole, New York

2008-10-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

New York Harvest Crusade with MercyMe, Reliant K and my friends the Katinas. Should be awesome.

Top 10 Seeds & Nuts

2008-10-02T16:41:00.000-07:00

According to me... here is the ranking of seeds and nuts from worst to best. I know some are not considered nuts, but for the sake of this poll they are.

10 Brazil
9 Walnut
8 Pumpkin Seed
7 Hazelnut
6 Pecan
5 Sunflower Seed
4 Peanut
3 Almond
2 Pistachio
1 Cashew

I would like to put the pine nut and the coconut as Honorable mention.

The names were changed to protect the innocent

2008-10-02T16:34:00.000-07:00

We as a family voted yesterday, and it was unanimous My son Chris and Chris my brother will now switch names. Henceforth Chris my brother will be known as
Lil' Chris due to the 2+ inch height variance.

Phoney Boloney

2008-09-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

Ok.. What is the deal with these prerecorded cell phone answering messages. "If you'd like to page this person please press 5". "If you'd like to leave a fax please press 7", really a fax. How many times on earth does that option get used, and where would I put the fax if I had 1 to send, in the USB port of my cell phone. This lady seems to think I have all the time in the world to listen to her babble on about the options I have, to leave my friend a message. I just want to leave my message, and move on. The craziest part of the message though is.... "When you are finished you can just hang up". Oh. thank you Queen Message Recording Woman for the permission to hang up when I'm done. I really would not have figured that out on my own after leaving the message. Do you ever think someone racked up 200 cell phone minutes wondering what to do after they left their message? What ever happen to the good 'ole self recorded message. Half the fun of that was re-recording your message
10-12 times to get it right.

Brian Regan

2008-09-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

I went to the Bob Hope theater in Stockton last night to see Brian Regan. This guy is truly funny, his mannorisms, his delivery, this guy is GOOD. If you ever get a chance to see him, do it......

Wongs is Right

2008-09-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

Possibly the best Chinese food I've ever had. Dave wongs in Stockton. I highly recommend it.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Happy bithday to ME.....

2008-09-10T11:06:00.000-07:00

Today I am 45 years old. Who's that talking. Oh it's me.... I was looking back at 45 years, I have whole lot to be greatfull for. A forgiving loving God that changed my life. My mom who raised three Lascano boys on her own. 2 great brothers who I love to hang out with. I have a beautiful wonderful wife of 26 years who is so many things to me including my best friend. 4 wonderfull, smart, funny children of whom I'm very proud. Sure, I'm getting old, but as time passes it just seems like I get more and more things in my life to be thankfull for, God is good.

Brotherly Love?????????

2008-09-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

For some reason Chris my "brother" has taken off the link to my blog from his. I must somehow be less interesting to him than the speed of a secondhand on a watch, or him eating at the taco truck for the 7th time. It must be payback for all those things I did to him as a child.

They call him Flipper

2008-09-05T14:04:00.000-07:00

Deanna and I just finished our second flip, it looks awesome. Here are some before and after shots of the house. We couldn't have done it without the help of my good friend and expert carpenter Jon Reeser. If you know anyone interested in purchasing a nice house in North Turlock give me a call.

Good things come in small packages.

2008-09-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

It's official. As of this week I am the shortest male in my family. Lil' Chris (my youngest son) passed me up sometime in the last month. All my boys are over 6'1" now. It seems like just yesterday they were 10 lb. babies.

Woot

2008-09-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

My son showed me a website the other day now I'm hooked on it, it's called Woot!.They search the internet for the best price on any one item and sell it all day.Today, after much window shopping I finally pulled the trigger and purchase Two 2 gigabyte mini SD cards for.............................$6.49. two SD cards for $6.49 are you outta your mind. Check it out.

It's what's inside that counts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, I just got 2 JJ Heller CD's today. I was very excited to listen to my new CD's on the way home from church. Little did I know that my listening pleasure would be postponed. For some reason CD makers feel the need to conceal their songs in Kryptonite. Hey, I'm just opening a CD, to hear a little music, not unlocking nuclear launch codes at NORAD. The effort and determination needed to open one of these miniature Fort Knox's is great. So, to help everyone out I'm going to tell you what seems to work best for opening CD's while driving home from church. First, you'll need to hold the CD so you have access to the thin side. Then you forcefully rake your bottom eye tooth (I like to use the left 1) across the plastic wrap several times to rip open the first impenetrable barrier to listening enjoyment. 2nd you must peel off the tape stickers on each side, which seems easy enough,but the amount of brute force needed is absurd, and calculated in my car to be at just over 317lbs of pressure per sq inch; which I just found out, interestingly enough, is also the exact amount of pressure it takes to rip your thumb nail off. This quality tape breaks and shreds off into small enough pieces that can only be measured by an electron microscope. Which means you'll have to dig your nailess thumb 82 times over this area. So in review, as I pull into my driveway the only "music" I heard on the way home was.....the raking of my teeth on a CD case, and the girlish like shrills of me loosing my thumbnail. No wonder I steal most of my songs from Limewire. I hope the CD still plays with this much blood on it.

Heller good.

2008-08-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

a breath of fresh air. Went to church this morning, and JJ Heller and her husband were there to lead worship. Wow, this girl can sing, beautiful crystal clear voice and very inspiring lyrics. You need to check her out, I don't mean check her out, I mean her music. Right now she's giving away her new album on her website.

I'm gettn' a new phone

2008-08-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

Looks like verizon is coming out with a new Blackberry. I'm getting 1. check it out.

Fruit ready for the Harvest

2008-08-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

Me and my family had a really great weekend at the Harvest Crusade this weekend. We had a chance to do some reminiscing with old Friends, and an excellent time of worship and teaching. They are doing God's work at Harvest, that's for sure. 11089 people came forward made decisions this weekend. What a wonderful tribute to Christopher Laurie's life, this crusade was.

The happiest place on earth ?

2008-08-15T16:26:00.000-07:00

Mickey mouses strange step cousin.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I hate SPAM

2008-08-13T15:23:00.000-07:00

I really hate SPAM, just to get things straight from the start. I'm not talking about that wondrous canned lunch meat that Monte Python sings a song of praise to. It's the junkmail in my inbox. I'm tired of deleting, it wears me out. I get mail from pharmacies.... delete, computer companies........delete, real estate people.....delete, male enhancement......wait a second...... delete, people from Zimbabwe that need $5000 to release millions of dollars, and they are willing to share it with little old me. I've set my spam filter so high that virtually no one I REALLY care about can directly contact me. Yet, Baako Achers can somehow hack though this filter to sell me his/her wears. Ok, I have one more mail issue "mail bombers" is the name that I've given them. They're the people that think everything in their inbox is interesting enough to forward to ME. I really don't want to be the 12th person you've mailed something to so you can have "good luck" today. I don't care about your inspirational PowerPoint slideshows with waterfalls and kittens. I really don't think I'm being too harsh when I say that the penalty for sending SPAM or email bombing should be death.

I need help

2008-08-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

They say the first step in recovering from an addiction is, admitting it. OK.... I admit it. My name is Jeff Lascano and I'm a Olympicaholic. There I said it. I'm hooked on the Olympics. Like someone hooked on crack, I need it, I want it, I crave it. Is there a 12 step program I can get into somewhere. I always wondered what kind of freaks would paint their face or body at sporting events. I'm that freak, paint me up and send me to Beijing. I'm not proud, that I stay up until all hours of the night depriving myself of much needed rest, to watch the Springboard and Platform Synchronized Diving competitions, or the Women's 10 meter air pistol, but I will tell you 1 thing, that Wenjun Guo can shoot some air pistol. I'm not glad that I know "the peloton" is the main group of cyclist in a race, or that you receive a .3 deduction for stepping out of bounds in the floor exercise, but I do. It's so fascinating to see the dedication the expertise that these people have in their pursuit of Gold. I love the patriotism I feel when USA wins a medal. Go Michael Phelps, Go USA.

Treated like a King

2008-08-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to the dentist. I just love the way they treat me. They didn't even want to burden me with swallowing by myself, so they sucked all my saliva out for me, how sweet. That's an extremely natural feeling. They also were very worried about my pain level, So concerned that they had to give me 3 sets of shots to numb me, thanks so much. They used aroma therapy to comfort me. I think the scent was smouldering teeth, very comforting. They treated me like a king, they gave me a crown and beat me up and charged me, They did treat me like a King....too bad it was Rodney King.

Ode to my friend

2008-08-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

I was thinking the other day. Who do I need, who do I depend on for that "pick me up" when I'm down. Who's always there for you, and if he's not there, it's your fault, but he's only a short distance away. There are others that try to compete, try to quench what I thirst for, but it's you and you alone DIET PEPSI that I love.

Holy Box Office Batman

2008-07-31T14:14:00.000-07:00

Could the caped Crusader sink long time record holder Titanic?
Will Batman top the 600,000,000 mark?
Will the Joker win a Academy Award posthumously?
Check in to see
Same bat time same bat channel

Check this out

2008-07-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

This guy is crazy watch in full screen mode.

OK.........OK

2008-07-27T19:55:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny... how sometimes God just keeps repeating Himself, like a parrot, until you hear what He is trying to say to you. Today I heard You, You know I heard You. It's a little scary, I'm not completely sure what it means, but I'm willing to do Your will.

Marco...................Polo

2008-07-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

Marco Polo was a famous explorer and a well known trader of silk and spices. I'm not sure we are giving him the respect he deserves, by yelling his name in vain in pools all over America. Today I watched my brother Chris play a rousing game or match of Marco Polo. It was a little funny watching him get tagged every other time by everyone in the pool. He has the elusiveness of a school bus. A true fish outta water.......................

FDIC Bank Seizures

2008-07-26T21:42:00.000-07:00

Like an epileptic that has forgotten to take their medicine, the seizures continue.

Transfat see ya

2008-07-26T20:58:00.000-07:00

In the wake of it's wisdom of legalizing gay marriage, California has now banned transfat from all restaurants. Did anyone take moment to think about the poor transfat salesmen. These guys are out there hitting the pavement everyday pushing their artery clogging oils. This is a massive food chain that starts with Mc Donalds employees, ambulance drivers and the makers of Plavex, and ends up with hundreds of heart surgeons without patients. Plus, there's a good chance my fries won't taste the same.